


i.M.P.U.L.S.E

by Archerquit



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe (Marvel), Irondad, M/M, Spideypool - Freeform, spiderson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 18:39:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18783904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archerquit/pseuds/Archerquit
Summary: Peter Parker, a twenty two year old aspiring new employee at Stark Industries has a problem. And it begins with “D” and ends with “eadpool”. The merc with a mouth has once again been somehow thrown into Peter’s life as they must work together to bring down a menacing new corrupt company called i.M.P.U.L.S.E. The more time Peter is stuck around Deadpool the more complicated things become, disrupting the simple life Peter Parker had wanted. Though it may not be completely a bad thing...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoa there! Your favorite merc here, yeah I know, pretty cool right? You may be wondering, “Why is Deadpool gracing my fragile mortal mind with his glorious presence?” And you’d be right to think that!! I’m just here to get some help. I’m having a.. small dilemma. I guess you could call it an itsy-bitsy-spider problem. Spidey says I should ask for help more, not that I really need it, just giving you the chance to interact with my superior Canadian form. Bye then!

Sunlight poured down through patchy clouds onto the bustling city of New York, New York. Peter Parker traversed the crowded streets, finding pathways between the people of all types on his beat up bike. The messenger bag at his hip bounced with every movement of his legs as Peter pushed his way to work. Speaking of, Stark Tower was now in sight. He sped up, determined not to be fifteen minutes late for the fourth time that week. 

 

“Thank God,” Peter mumbled as he pulled up to the building with five minutes to spare. He swung his legs off the bicycle and walked it over to one of the metal poles that lined the right side of the tower. Kneeling down, he chained it to the pile securely as he swiped an arm across his brow and glanced up. A flash of red popped up in his peripheral vision among the rooftops surrounding his workplace.  _“Weird..”_ Peter thought to himself, shrugging it off as his Spidey Senses didn’t alarm him to any danger while he headed into Stark Tower. He nodded to the receptionist, who looked completely and utterly dead inside, as he made his way to the elevator. A quick retinal scan ensured his identity as an employee and the doors slid open smoothly and silently. Peter watched the numbers tick up as he headed to the fifty fourth story. He had a lot of important work to do. 

 

Peter was working hard on developing an advanced AI that was consumer friendly, like a J.A.R.V.I.S sort of deal but accessible to the public to be installed in the household. He had been working extraordinarily long hours as a new tech company had popped out of nowhere calling themselves i.M.P.U.L.S.E announcing they were developing the same technology. Parker was determined to beat them, as Mr. Stark was very happy about his company being top of the competition. Peter had to make him proud. With a ping, the elevator doors opened once more and the young man made his way to his office. He closed the door behind him, huffing a sigh of relief to be in the familiar chaotic environment. The mess was honestly welcoming, though he should probably clear all the empty energy drink cans that littered his desk as a result of all his efforts. Peter placed down his messenger bag which contained all his research and made his way to the windows to lift up the blinds to let in some sunlight. Peter threw one of the six paneled windows open and stumbled backwards, falling on his ass as he swore. 

 

An unfortunately familiar red and black masked face greeted him from outside. The owner of which was pounding on the window and waving. Peter’s eyebrows furrowed as a scowl spread on his face, though he quickly did his best to mask it with a face of confusion as he opened up the window to let Deadpool into his office. “Hey there Pete! I really need to talk to your bug bud Spidey, he around? Love the place by the way, reminds me of home,” Deadpool’s confident and smooth words felt like they were grating against Peter’s eardrums. “What do you need him for?” Parker said coldly. “That’s top secret info, ‘fraid it’s for Spidey’s ears only,” Deadpool said, a finger raised to where his mouth would be as if shushing Peter. The wink that followed was enough to cause Peter to storm out of the room with a quick “I’ll go get him.” 

 

Peter hopped into a supply closet to pull on his suit as his face burned hot with agitation. “Why me?? Why him? Why TODAY?!” Peter ranted to himself as he pulled down his mask. Checking to make sure the hallway was clear, he took a deep breath and hustled back to his office. To be greeted by the sight of Deadpool leaning over his computer, staring at one of the monitors as he scrolled through Peter’s search history. With a thiwp, Peter webbed down Deadpool’s hand and crossed his arms across his chest. “Really Wade?”

「ΞφΞφΞφΞφΞ」

”Spidey!!” Deadpool shouted happily, turning to face the slim framed yet muscular spider themed hero. Who currently looked kinda pissed. Yup, that was Spidey all right! “How goes it? Any fun new exploits, particularly involving you swinging around the city without c-“ Spider-Man interjected quickly, putting a halt to Deadpool’s fun thought. “I’m going to stop you there Wade, what do you need from me?” Deadpool made quick work of Spidey’s webs with a knife and some tugging. “Aw I love when you use my secret identity name! Speaking of, you still totally owe me your secret identity name, it’s only fair cause I gave you mine,” Deadpool chirped. 

 

“We’re not doing that. Be serious, what do you need?” Spider-Man said, sounding more tired than usual. “Ever heard of i.M.P.U.L.S.E?” With the other man’s nod, he continued. “Yeah, well my sources say there’s some shady stuff going on. I also might have been hired to take out the CEO but that’s besides the point- the AI servant thingie they’re making spells BAD, like spy on the entire city and connect to banks to take some cash bad, and by some cash I mean A LOT OF CASH.” 

 

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Spider-Man sighed. “So you’re asking me for help?” He added. “Yup, you said it was a good quality and I’m doing the whole ‘self-improvement’ thing.” Wade didn’t mention he just had missed Spidey and wanted an excuse to see him again. “I’ll help you, on one condition.” Deadpool dramatically feel to his knees to beg, so to speak. “I’ll do anything my love! You’re the Juliet to my Roméo! The Veronica to my Jason Dean! The-“ 

“I GET IT. Can you be serious for one second? Jesus.. Anyway, my condition is no killing. Absolutely NONE.” Deadpool drew himself into a standing position, crossing his arms and groaning. “I was hoping for something a little more, y’know, spicy, and less boring, but whatever okay I’ll TRY,” Deadpool huffed. “Meet me on top of the apartment building a block away, right by that Mexican food joint tonight and I can give you some more details.” 

“Alright.” Spider-Man said bluntly as Deadpool made his way to his entry point. The mercenary turned with his arms spread. “Not even a hug goodbye bugaboo?”His voice was laced with honey. “No Wade, get out of here please.” Deadpool shrugged defeatedly and swung a leg out the window. “Say thanks to your friend Peter for me!” He leaned back and let himself fall, pleased by the sight of Spider-Man running to the window with a worried shout ready to save Deadpool. A smile spread across Wade’s face underneath his mask as he held onto the steel wire he had set up to get to Peter’s office windows in the first place. He saluted Spider-Man, who responded with a middle finger, smiling himself and already looking forward to that night. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Parker and Wade Wilson have a plan to meet up to discuss the threat level of i.M.P.U.L.S.E and what kind of approach they should take. However, things go a little differently than expected, but on the good side, it gives Spider-Man and Deadpool the opportunity to bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Wow, this is pretty weird huh? I actually feel super NERVOUS! It's exciting! Like of course everything is gonna go GREAT between me and Spidey, because obviously, but still. Weird new sensation. Kinda into it.

Wade whistled to himself as he turned off the shower, ending the stream of scalding hot water he was using to bathe just moments before. He stepped out of the stall-like appliance, steam rising from his back and broad shoulders as he wiped himself down with a towel. He was gonna be fresh and pretty for Spider-Man, or so he liked to think. This thought was stalled as he caught a glimpse of his distorted reflection in the steam covered mirror. Using one hand, Wade swiped a portion of the mirror clean, staring into his own eyes once the image cleared enough for him to really see. An empty pit seemed to grow wider in Wade's chest as he ran his eyes over his scared and malformed body. "Wowza, looks like I was put through a cheese grater and melted into a human shape! Nothing new I guess," He said to himself, remaining peppy even though he was reeling with self-disgust. Wade grabbed his mask off the counter and pulled it down over his face.  _"That looks better,"_ Wade convinced himself as he shot some finger guns into the mirror and strolled into one of the two rooms in his apartment besides the bathroom that he considered the bedroom. He opened a couple drawers, deciding on some classy Spider-Man themed boxers to throw on under his suit. 

 

Slipping into his familiar spandex suit, Wade looked at his empty wrist. "Would you look at the time! I'm late for our meeting!" Deadpool cried as he jogged out of his rather worn-down apartment. You would think he would use all that money he made off-well offing people to rent a better place, but the price was cheap and there was a really good Mexican food shop right next door, so Wade could deal with the musty smell and shifty neighbors. Most didn't last more than three weeks living around him anyway, complaining about noise at night and "harassment". Whatever that meant. To Wade, it meant almost an entire floor to himself. Making it to the stairs, Deadpool hopped up two steps at a time, getting closer and closer to the rooftop entry. He kicked open the door and strode out into the crisp night air. "Honey I'm hoooome!" He sang. Wade paused, waiting for a typical Spider-Man response, like "Oh come on Wade," or the classic "God help me," followed by an exasperated sigh and slouched shoulders. Wade found each of these responses as endearing as a pet name. "Spidey? Ya up here?" Deadpool called out as he searched the area. No sign of the blue and red clad hero. "Huh.." Wade plopped down on the edge and decided to wait. He spent the time watching the city below, witnessing a drug deal in one of the alleyways and illegal sex workers prowling the streets. As he thought, he suddenly realized something. "OH SHIT! I THINK HE WENT TO THE JOINT TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM HERE!" Deadpool shouted as he jumped up, nearly toppling over the side of the apartment building.  _"Of course he would go there, that's where we met last time! Goddamnit Wade, try clear instructions next time. Yeah I know, sorry Wade, I'll work on it."_   Deadpool's mind ratted to itself as he sprinted down the stairs and out the door.

 

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-"  Wade booked it to the OTHER nearby delicious Mexican food restaurant when suddenly a leg covered in tattered sweatpants struck out from one of the alleyways on his right flank that was shrouded in darkness. And  kicked Wade. Right in the money shot. He yelped and started to tumble to the ground, his momentum from his earlier sprint carrying him through the air. Quickly, he contorted his body and landed in a squatting position. "Who the hell-" Wade was cut off by the knife that now pressed against his neck. "Listen buddy, I can tell by the gettup you've got some kinda money, so hand that over. And the swords, those could sell pretty well. And don't even  **think** about using them alright bud?!" A voice from behind him scratched out. Wade chuckled to himself. "What's so funny bitch?! Do you WANT TO DIE??!!" The man screeched, digging the knife deeper into Wade's throat, cutting through the fabric and drawing blood. "Sorry, sorry hah HAH!! Just thought I wouldn't have some chance for fun tonight of all nights! Like wow! Going to meet with guy with morals so strong you could probably create an impenetrable fortress with 'em! But of course, I'd penetrate that-"

"SHUT UP DUMBASS!!" The man's breath, which reeked of rotting teeth and cigarettes, was wet and way too warm for comfort. "Give me everything you have or I'll do it!" 

"Uhhh how about a big ol' no to that sir!"

"THAT'S  **IT**!!" The crazed and clearly delirious man cut at Wade's throat excessively, slicing through the layers of skin and muscle with the dull blade. "That's what you deserve you freak!" The man said between huffs as he stepped away from Deadpool, an insane smile spread across his cracked lips. That smile faded quickly as a gurgling laughter met his ears. The man he had just mutilated was.. standing back up like nothing had happened!? "You're.. new around here huh? Don't recognize the 'gettup'? Cause if you don't.." Wade slowly pulled off his mask and turned. A smile way too big to be natural plastered to his scarred face as his shredded throat meat swayed and dangled. Blood dotted his lips and gushed down his front. He wiped a hand across his lips in an attempt to clear the blood, but merely smeared it. His attacker's eyes were wide and bloodshot with absolute horror, his pasty skin gleaming with slimy sweat. "I'm Deadpool."

「ΞφΞφΞφΞφΞ」

 "Wade!?" Spider-Man shouted as he saw the tall red and black figure approach him atop the roof of an abandoned apartment building. "Where were you! I sat here for 35 minutes waiting for your stupid ass to show up and I might.." He trailed off as he noticed Wade clutching his neck. And the blood covering his hand. And chest. "Oh my fucking God Wade what happened!?" Peter jogged up to Deadpool, who flinched away as Peter reached for his mask to assess the damage. "Whoah there! Going a little too fast there Spidey, you're not ready for this handsome mug!" Spider-Man squared his shoulders and before Wade could react, he had webbed him to the nearby dinosaur of an air conditioning unit with his hands pulled away from his neck. "Y'know, in any other scenario, I'd be okay with this, but just switch me with y-" Peter lifted his wrist, threatening to web his mouth shut. Wade shut up. Peter walked up to him, lifting the torn spandex to be met with the gruesome sight of what remained of Deadpool's throat. "Jesus, what the hell happened while I was waiting for you?" Spider-Man sputtered, feeling nausea rise in his stomach at the horrific sight and metallic smell of blood. Deadpool merely shrugged his shoulders to the best of his ability. "I got jumped by a hobo on the street on my way here, so I messed with him a little. You should have SEEN his face when I turned around all covered in blood with my neck all messed up! Besides, it's already starting to heal so in like five minutes it shouldn't even exist anymore. Thank you miracle healing factor!" Peter frowned underneath his mask. As much as he hated admitting it, he did not like seeing Deadpool get messed up badly. Which happened about every single time they interacted. Peter's arms had settled into a more relaxed position crossed against his chest. "I get it, the healing factor helps a lot, but you're not immortal-" Deadpool quickly interjected. "wELL ACTUALLY-" Spider-Man groaned. "Make it quick Wilson." "Okay okay, long story short, jealous purple grape made it impossible for me to y'know, stop living cause he had  thing for a girl who had a thing for me!" 

 

Peter rubbed his temples. He was getting tired of Deadpool's nonsense. "Hey Spidey, you doing okay? You look real tired." Peter's head shot back up. "Yeah, well sorry I haven't slept in forever and sorry I hate seeing my friends all torn up!!" He snapped. Wade went silent. "You.. you think of me as a friend!?!?!" Peter practically saw Deadpool's eyes widen to the size of his head as sparkles danced around his still bloody form. "Yeah whatever, just don't be stupid. Can we talk about i.M.P.U.L.S.E now please?" He instantly was filled with regret at saying the f-word. Tended to make Wade even more, well, Wade than usual. "Okay boy friend!! There's a space there so don't get too excited," Wade chirped with a wink. "i.M.P.U.L.S.E, Wade."

"Yeah, yeah." Deadpool sounded a lot more deflated as the subject changed, his tone becoming much more analytical. "My sources got some info from the inside of the organization. The blueprints imply something along the lines of what I told you earlier. They are making an AI assistant that they plan on installing in every household possible. The software will record important information from the occupants of the home, like passwords, credit card numbers, and even pass-codes to valuables. With the security capabilities, they are hoping to put them into banks as well in order to smuggle money out of the accounts of thousands. That's most of what I know, besides the fact the CEO is a young, charismatic Tony Stark before he wasn't an arrogant asshole. We would infiltrate the office compound in order to do the usual steal files and book it out of there. You down?" After a small pause, Peter sighed and muttered a yes. "But remember my condition okay?" 

"Yeah yeah, but could you do me a favor first?" Spider-Man tapped his foot. "Depends." 

"Could you please get me out of this webbing?" Peter panicked for a second, realizing the whole time Wade had been webbed down to the broken AC unit. "Yeah! Yeah, sorry about that!" He twittered nervously. "It's alright Spidey! Also I've been meaning to ask you," Deadpool said as Peter pulled the webbing away from his companion's wrists. "Mm?" Was all he responded with. "Are you doing okay? You seem kinda worn down and tired, like all the fun got sucked outta you or something." Peter paused before tugging away the last bit of webbing from Wade's lower arm. "Lots of work. I'm not really one to party." Deadpool leapt to his feet and took Peter by the shoulders. He had forgotten for a moment how tall Wade was, though he was glad he was no longer eye level with the gnarly gash he had earlier. Guess the guy was right when he said it wouldn't stay for long. "Spider-Man! You HAVE to take a break sometimes! Y'know, get loose and just have fun!" Wade shook Peter with each word only stopping when the younger man placed his hands on Wade's chest and pushed him away slightly. "I dunno Wade. I've got to be responsible." 

"C'moooooon Spidey! I even have some whiskey right here! Would be a shame to put it to waste," he said swishing around a mostly full bottle.  _"Where did he get that from..?"_ Peter asked himself before clearing his head and shaking it no. "I can't." "Why?" "Because." "Because why?" Spider-Man went silent at that one. Why did he refuse to have a little fun from time to time? His work had consumed most of his life at this point, and even though he loved working and interacting with Mr. Stark, he missed having friends and actually going out into the world for a reason other than work or living supplies. Whoah, whoah, whoah, was he actually considering drinking around Wade Wilson? But it was too late and the bottle was already in his hand.

「ΞφΞφΞφΞφΞ」

Deadpool watched a completely incapacitated Spider-Man with his mask pulled up to show a third of his face. His pale skin was flushed under the influence, and his lips looked rosy as they formed a smile. Wade tore his eyes from Spider-Man's rather enticing lips to take in the full view of the scene. It was honestly hilarious. Wade's healing factor made it extremely hard for toxins like alcohol to actually make it further than his bloodstream and his body repelled it almost instantly. He had drunk four times as much as Spidey had, and felt completely sober. Spider-Man was the complete opposite. He couldn't really stand properly, and kept wobbling. Wilson would never have expected the web-slinger to be such a light-weight. "Wwwaduuhh," Spidey slurred, as he tried to stand up, falling right back on his ass. Wade held his laughter in and offered a hand to help the poor drunk out.  Deadpool inhaled sharply as Spider-Man leaned his whole body against Wade's, obviously unable to stand without support. A weird flicker sputtered in Wade's chest as he pulled the limp noodle spider off of himself and held him at arms length. "You really, really shouldn't have drunken so much if  **this** is how you end up." Deadpool scolded. "What the hell am I supposed to even do with you?" The other man's head just dangled down. "Please don't be- oh for fuck's sake!" The guy was out  _ **cold**_. Wade slung Spider-Man carefully over his shoulder, didn't want to add alcohol scented barf to his already blood soaked suit, and made possibly a terrible, awful, no good, very bad decision as he started the trek back to his apartment building.

「ΞφΞφΞφΞφΞ」

"Hello New York, and welcome back to City News. Last night the mutilated body of what the authorities assume to be a homeless male was found in an alleyway on **** Street. Police advise residents to take caution when going out at night especially, and to not travel alone. For our more sensitive viewers, please switch to Channel 7 to hear about the efforts of a local group in restoring a dying park. ...The body was found in several pieces, and the entire crime scene was soaked in blood. The man had serious blunt force head trauma, and appeared to be shot several times just before his death. The main cause has been determined as blood loss due to serious injury to major blood vessels. If you know or witnessed anything about this crime, please notify your local police department. And please, be safe and alert. Now back to-"

 

The television shut off with a definitive click, leaving the room it was placed in with only one source of light; which was sunlight creeping through the tightly closed blinds. A young man, attractive in appearance dressed in a crisp and pristine white suit complete with cold black undershirt, turned to  the monitor behind him, watching the live feed of his company employees working themselves to the bone.

"What an interesting day." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Author here, just wanted to thank you for reading. Hi to Ace if you're reading this! Anyway, I have a pretty big story-line cut out for this, so please let me know if you'd be interested in seeing more. I know I'm not the best writer, and I may not be able to post daily, but I really enjoy this and think it could be fun to do maybe?? Just a heads up, there might be a couple s p i c y chapters in the future, but there will ALWAYS be a warning and I'll do my best to not let it affect the plot too much. I really hope whoever bothers to read this has a really amazing rest of their day/night!


	3. Chapter 3

Wade Wilson had made probably the biggest mistake he had in a long, long time. He told himself over and over that it was for Spidey’s safety, no way in hell was he leaving a drunk young man on top of a roof in the rougher part of the city. And since he had no clue where the web slinger lived, this was the best option. Didn’t keep him from pacing back and forth in front of his bed thinking about how bad SpiderMan would react when he woke up. Wade was finally getting closer to him. Even though he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he deeply admired the softly mumbling drunk sprawled on his bed. He wanted to be like that, well not drunk off his ass, but good? Wade pushed those thoughts down and away. Not a good time to have a moral crisis, besides, he loved his job. His pacing was paused by a familiar hand reaching out towards him. Taking a deep breath and reminding himself of self control, Wade moved to the edge of his bed where Spidey was just sort of.. dripping off the mattress, making sure to keep his distance in case there was projectile vomiting involved. “What’s up SpiderMan? You feeling better?” The red and blue hero just lifted his heavy head, a frown apparent on his lips. Wade tilted his head. “What’s wrong buddy? You better not hurl on my bed I JUST washed those sheets you know.” Spidey just let his head drop back down on the mattress. Wade shuffled a little closer, trying to see if he had passed out again. Instead, the hand that alerted him to Spidey’s consciousness hooked onto his suit’s belt. Though drunk, SpiderMan still had considerable strength, tugging Wade closer so that his legs were now pressed against the edge of the bed. 

“What the fuck dude?! How drunk are you?” Wade blurted, taken aback by the sudden action of the man who was basically a rag doll not too long ago. Spidey just mumbled something inaudible, wrapping his other arm around Wade, his hand keeping hold on the mercenary’s back. Wade inhaled sharply. “Spidey, I get I’m the complete package but sober you isn’t gonna be too happy hearing about this,” Deadpool scolded, patting the boy lightly on the head. To his surprise, SpiderMan once again lifted his head, looking up to Wade and using his buckle made to look like a little Deadpool face to support the weight. “Waaaadeee, Wade I’m cold,” Spidey groaned, his words still slurring though not as heinously as before. The usually quick to whip back with a witty comment merc only idly scratched the back of his neck. “Want a blanket?” To be perfectly honest, Wade wasn’t used to the whole nurturing thing. And this version of the usually stand-offish man was a major shift. SpiderMan frowned and pulled himself to his knees, as best as a drunk could, mumbling to himself incoherently before plopping himself against Wade. This time, his arms hooked under Wade’s and reached up so that his hands could use the man’s broad shoulders as a grip. “Nooo! You’re warm, and you’re the blanket now.”

In that moment, Wade Wilson wished he could record what the FUCK was happening right now as he laughed the hardest he had in a while. SpiderMan didn’t seem amused, crinkling his half masked nose. “You smell like metal, stop it,” He said disapprovingly, like he had caught a kid stealing from the cookie jar. “That would be the blood that’s all over me. If you’d kindly let go of me I’ll go change.” With a grumble, Spidey reluctantly released Wade. No way in hell was he ever going to pass up a chance to see where this was going. “Control yourself Wilson. Aw c’mon, okay,” he muttered under his breath to himself as he grabbed a zip up hoodie and sweatpants from his set of drawers. Turning back, he saw that SpiderMan had repositioned himself to sit back against his lower legs, rubbing his masked eyes. With no warning, the man reached his hand up and tugged off his mask. Wade turned away quickly shielding his eyes as he shouted. “Whoah whoah WHOAH!! That’s a no-no!” “But my eyes are itchy-“ “THEN SCRATCH THEM AND THEN PUT IT BACK ON!” Hopefully he didn’t take that literally and wouldn’t rip out his eyes. Wade caught his breath. All he saw was fair skin and brown hair. The urge to just turn and look was so strong he actually started turning before he reminded himself of the consequences. “You covered?” A small yes made Wade heave a sigh of relief. “Stay here, I’m going to change really quick, and the number one rule right now is that we keep masks ON. Got that compadre?” Without another word, Deadpool pushed open the bathroom door and stepped in. 

He carefully peeled off his suit, he would scrub it sometime in the morning. Wade had become quite used to scrubbing blood stains out of his suit, whether it be his or someone else’s. Pulling the familiar jacket over his form, he tugged up the zipper and flattened out the wrinkles down his chest. There were times he had to go outside without the mask. Just as Wade Wilson. A hat plus the hood of his jacket weren’t enough to hide the horrors of his face though. Wade avoided going outside as much as he could without the security of his mask. He didn’t need to see fear, or worse, pity on the features of the unlucky passerby that snatched a peek at his lovely mug. Making sure his mask was in place, Wade tugged the door open and prepared to step out. Turning to close the door behind him, he felt someone grab his exposed hand. 

“What the shit-“ SpiderMan had taken a firm grasp on his scarred hand, hiding just in front of the door like a spider waiting for an unsuspecting fly to fall into his web. Wade’s brow furrowed as he tried to gently tug his hand away. Instead, Spidey just lightly caressed the rough skin with his spandex covered thumb, rubbing circles into the marred flesh. The young man pulled Wade’s hand to his half exposed face, pressing his cool cheek against it as he let his eyes flutter closed. “Sorry Spidey, I know it’s a little gross so you don’t have to touch it, haha,” Wade chuckled, trying once more to pull his hand back. SpiderMan let him, his own fingers dragging against the scarred limb as it’s warmth left his face. “I don’t think it’s gross, just a lil different..” The hero said in a wistful, far away sounding tone. Wade inhaled sharply as a little Cupid version of himself slammed an arrow right into his chest, a small squirt of blood following it. “Good luck champ!” The figure saluted before disappearing with a laugh. “Drunk you is sweet and all, but you gotta get some sleep bugaboo. You’re gonna wake up and castrate me anyways, so you’ll need the energy,” Deadpool quipped as he turned SpiderMan on his heels and guided him to the bed, turning him once more and pushing down on his shoulders to make him sit down on the edge of the bed. The smaller man didn’t complain, mumbling something before starting to lay down. Wade yoinked a pillow and decided as tempting as it was, having SpiderMan wake up next to him in HIS bed of all places wasn’t the best idea, so the floor it was. Wade Wilson let out a deep exhale before laying down on his back and almost instantaneously knocking out. Cue a certain spider themed hero peeking his head over the edge of the bed to look at the sleeping man. In his drunken state, he couldn’t seem to get the warmth of that hand out of his mind. He was cold after all. Basically spilling off the bed as silently as possible, he rolled towards the larger man laid down using Wade’s stomach as a pillow. Finally, warmth, and damn did it feel good as SpiderMan curled against Wade, finding the hardened muscle comfortable. Who knew SpiderMan was such a cuddle bug?  
「ΞφΞφΞφΞφΞ」  
“I’m growing tired of this,” a cold voice growled from behind a dark, polished desk. A man, in his late 20s, leaned forward on his propped up folded hands. He was arguably attractive, if it wasn’t for the scowl that currently twisted his features. “Will it or won’t it be enough? This has to go smoothly, or I’m gonna have the Avengers six feet up my ass.” He snarled to a screen in front of him, projected from a small, strange device that stood front and center on the otherwise bare desk, spare a few papers and a stray pen. A voice dripping with sweet venom responded from the flickering projection. “Oh don’t worry, everything will go just swimmingly! As long as you do exactly what I say.” The man leaned back in his chair, adjusting his crisp white suit to lay flat and flawless. “If this works, as you promise it will, how do I know you won’t turn against me once you arrive?” The holographic figure stepped closer, tilting its head to reveal messy brown locks of hair. “Oh come now, don’t you trust me Octavius?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start picking up as Peter wakes up, and i.M.P.U.L.E begins to grow as a threat.

As dawn started to break, Peter Parker floated in the place between sleep and the waking world. He faintly felt rising and falling, like waves lifting him gently before settling him back down on a warm shore. God, he was so warm. Peter hadn’t felt so comfortable and.. safe in a long time. The pressure of being Spider-Man and his work seemed to disappear, leaving him weightless and free. However, all good things come to an end, as a slow throbbing pain seeped in from the edges of his psyche, dragging him away from the comfort of this new found paradise and into reality. Peter scrunched his face up against the unwilling removal from such relief, pulling himself closer against the mass of pillows he kept on his bed. But something felt off, why was his mask still on? Damnit, I promised myself I wouldn’t fall asleep in my suit anymore, patrol must have been rough last night. Wait. Last night. What happened last night? His memory felt so fuzzy, and his head, god his head hurt. He turned his head into a crook in his pillows, pulling his body against the warmth and safety they provided. But why did it feel like his pillows were.. breathing?? Peter cracked his eye open, fighting through the blurriness of sleep to see a.. what was that? “WADE!” Peter shrieked, pushing away from the man he had just been cuddling into, complete with his head on the larger man’s shoulder and intertwining limbs. The whole damn shabang. Peter sat with his back against a bed that wasn’t his, legs sprawled out in front of him as he heaved for breath. His heart was going a thousand miles a minute as he took deep breaths and grabbed his head to steady himself. Amazingly, Wade was somehow still sound asleep. And had noticed his partner had slipped away. A deep mumble came from the merc as he reached around, his brow furrowing under his mask. Parker barely had time to react when a big hand wrapped around his ankle and tugged him back to the floor. The man let out a yelp as he was pulled to Wade, who wrapped his arms around Peter, pulling the smaller man’s back flush against his chest. Peter wiggled and grunted, trying to escape without waking Deadpool up. If Wade knew Peter had snuggled him like a child with a beloved stuffed animal he would never hear the end of it. The brush of leather against his neck made his breath hitch as Deadpool leaned to Peter’s right ear. “Stop trying to run away from me,” he mumbled before plopping his head back down against the back of Peter’s neck and falling back into deep slumber. What. What. What. Peter couldn’t stop that word from repeating feverishly in his head. Whether it was the rise and fall of Wade’s breathing against his back, the breath on his neck, or the man’s deep gravely morning voice Peter didn’t know, but he felt his face burn under his half lifted mask. Stop overthinking, whenever you do this your face gets all red and it totally looks like you’re flustered as in crushing on this guy! Just remember he’s an annoying, killing, crazy, tall, scary prick! You’re just panicking, CALM DOWN! Focus. Peter squeezed his eyes shut and took deep shaky breaths. He had to stop living off energy drinks before he had a heart attack or something. He focused on the matter at hand, getting out of Wade’s arms so he could clear his head and.. “WORK!” Peter clapped his hand against his mouth, muttering shit under his breath as Wade grumbled and adjusted his grip around Spidey’s midsection. His best bet was loosening Deadpool’s grip and slipping away before the guy woke up. Stop trying to run away from me. Maybe, if Wade was convinced he wasn’t going to run away, he’d loosen his grip? The question was how. Peter took a shaky breath before lowering his hand to Wade’s, forcing his fingers through to hold the sleeping man’s hand. For the first time, Peter got a good look at Wade’s bare skin. He felt his heart drop as he looked at the marred flesh. What the hell happened?? The scars looked old, how did he never notice before? They had eaten together a couple times before, but it was always in the dead of night and Wade had somehow hidden it very well. Peter had assumed he had a birth mark or something, never taking the time to study the guy’s face thoroughly. Peter found he had begun rubbing circles against the scars with his thumb while he tumbled into thought. He stopped as soon as he noticed, looking away in embarrassment as if he was being watched. Wade stirred slightly, his arms loosening so he could better hold Spidey’s hand. Peter swore he could feel Wade grin against his neck. Nevertheless, his half baked plan was working. Somehow. Keeping his back against Wade’s chest, he lifted his legs up, preparing to stand as he slowly began pulling away. He kept his hand in Wade’s as he pulled himself into a crouch. Slowly, very slowly and carefully, Peter began to remove his hand from Deadpool’s. Soon, the tips of their finger brushed and he was no longer wrapped in Wade’s embrace. Instantly, Wilson started stirring. Spider-Man took his chance, tugging his mask down and snapping up. “Fuck..” he hissed as a sharp pain exploded from his head. He staggered to a window, opening it and pushing himself off the ledge to swing to work. He didn’t notice Wade W. Wilson staring after him.   
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Of course. Of course Webs left. Maybe he had overdone it? No it was definitely his disgusting skin, and Spidey had seen it and Wade could feel the pity wafting off him. He should have never faked being asleep for so long. In reality, Wade awoke as soon as Spidey had pushed himself away. But he saw the blooming red under that mask and couldn’t resist toying with him, to feel his limber agile body against his of hard muscle. So he pulled him close and whispered in his ear, enjoying how the man shivered and heated up. Who knew Spider-Man was such an easily flustered cuddle-bug? Wade wanted him to stay, to keep the voices in his head at bay a little longer. But he didn’t struggle when the hero wiggled out of his arms and ran away. Of course he’d run away from you. You’re a murderer, and you’re repulsive to look at. You’re not attractive inside or out unlike that righteous hero with the fine ass and frustratingly tempting lips. He’d never settle for you. Never. Never. Never. Never. Wade growled and slammed his head into the wall. “SHUT UP!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!” He howled as the tidal wave of thoughts and cruel voices descended on him. He breathed heavily as he pulled off his now sopping mask, dripping with gore from his mutilated head. Wade Wilson didn’t utter a single word as he picked up a glock, and coated his walls in his own brains. For at least a couple minutes, the voices would leave him alone. 

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Peter flung himself into his office and ripped off his mask. He couldn’t process that morning, not now. So he would distract with work. He was barely able to make his way to his computer when his door opened, and Tony Stark walked in adjusting his tie before standing with his hands in his pristine pockets. “O-oh Mr. Stark!! I’m so sorry I’m late I got caught up-“ Peter quieted down as Tony raised an eyebrow beneath his orange tinted glasses. “Whatever’s bothering you right now kid, you gotta save for later because i.M.P.U.L.S.E just released your work.” Peter Parker froze as his mouth gaped. How could this day already be so complicated!?! 

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“It’s finally ready.” Octavius said with a sinister grin to his holographic compatriot, his pale fingers folded neatly on his desk. The flickering man in front of him smiled back stepping closer to the crisply dressed CEO. “See? Just like I promised Octy! You get all the money, power, and control you want, and I get some spicy revenge!” The man said with sweeping arm motions, that venomous grin dripping honey. “You know Octy, I’m so glad you agreed. It was so hard finding a universe where he had a proper weak spot! It took years to be able to reach this point, isn’t it just stunning?” Octavius shot the man a pointed look as his usual scowl returned to his lips. “Don’t ever call me that. And yes, as long as this all goes to plan, we both get what we want.” The hologram’s smile dropped and he waved at his partner dismissingly. “Yeah yeah, it will. Today’s the day we change the world,” the brunette man hissed, turning his back to the raven haired man opposite him. Octavius stood, his posture and face cold as he inspected his nails. “Now tell me, why would a person such as yourself want to destroy the life of your universal counterpart?” The hologram froze. His eyes missing the mischief and control they had moments before, a dark rage replacing that spark, he turned to glare at Octavius over his shoulder. “It’s not him I’m after.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you so much for reading!! It’s been a long time but I still have this fic planned out so I hope I’ll keep updating this. Thank you to everyone who reads this and deciphers my shit writing lmao


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